Housecleaning (or maybe not...)
qbek
·
23 stycznia 2006
9 482
0
1
A bunch of obvious excuses that let you show them you’re not really the filthy hag they’ve been taking you for all along, but rather a caring and considerate person who wants everyone to feel good in her company.
I don’t do windows because...
...I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don’t wax floors because...
...I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me.
I don’t mind the dust bunnies because...
Gauging the Festivity Level of your Christmas Party
qbek
·
23 grudnia 2005
6 972
1
It is an obvious fact that how good your party is depends on how well you do as its host. How to have fun and let your place survive? Why not use our simple Chritmas party gauge to measure your guests’ festivity levels ;)
Festivity Level 1:
Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d’oeuvre.
Festivity Level 2:
Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d’oeuvre.
Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something the majority of men would rather not question in case they discovered that she has been all along, and that they are not in fact the stud they thought women go wild for, but rather a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be patronized.
For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.
1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the moment it sounds as though she is about to have an orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she has been reading.
If she says "Oh, I was reading that", then she was faking it.
2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or sound like a familiar song, then she can’t be concentrating enough on the job at hand, and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her personal stereo.
3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at random and
record her response. If every time you stop she says "Mmmmmmm you were wonderful", then she is faking it. If she says "Don’t stop", then she isn’t.
However, if she says "Don’t stop" hours after lovemaking has finished, it is possible that she may have fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.
And how do you tell she’s been faking it?
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